This is the poem I wrote as my “self documentation” when we stayed in our communities for one week last month to “get our feet wet.”
Anxiety and loneliness are prominent
Will the confusion ever end?
The experience of a new culture
In the heart of the Amazon.
I focus on the horizon
As curious Moreno stares wash over me
Simply a gringa
In a Latina body.
Blending in is not a chore
But nor is it a complete blessing.
Patient but somewhat mocking smiles
Follow me throughout the day.
Only one of the frustrations –
Of my new life
That I’m not accustomed to
Never once ceases.
Waterfalls of rapid Spanish words
Fall around my eager ears
Flowing through my struggling brain.
The feelings of uselessness
Everyday watching the doctors
Interact with patients
How can I help?
But I’m afraid.
Afraid of the language barrier
Afraid of the expectations
Will I be successful?
Or will I simply fall?
But I can’t let that happen.
So many questions intruding
On not only my want,
But my need for mindfulness.
The steady warm rain
Muggy but strangely refreshing air
Have a calming effect.
I have faith
Over the remaining 6 months
The jungle and I will find peace.
Not only tranquility of the physical forest
But also with the ‘selva’ inside of me.
Cotundo, Ecuador –
The gateway
To a world of change.
