When you leave your shoes
Next to mine, I don’t know well
I don’t understand well if I am
Building you a future
Or healing me a past
But I know, this story didn’t end
When I leave my shoes
Next to yours, I don’t know well
I don’t understand well if I am
Building me a future
Or healing you a past
But I know, this story didn’t end
It did not finish
This is the translated chorus from the song
“Despierta” by Alejandro Filio. It is one of my favorite songs, and I have an
extensive list of songs that I like a lot. Music is one of the greatest friends
I’ve ever had. It makes every moment better. It intensifies every emotion. And
there is a huge bunch of options to listen to. A huge bunch of emotions to
feel. And later on, you can reconnect with that specific moment just by playing
the song, and feeling all those emotions the number of times you want.
Because of this, I’m the kind of person that
plans the songs I will listen to. I have specific songs for specific
situations. Years ago I used to create specific playlists. Later on, I became
one of those people that can listen to any kind of music. Suddenly my music
exponentially grew. It became a problem, I had too many options. I did not know
what to start with. So I deleted all my specific playlists. What I started
doing was shuffling my music and then plan what I wanted to listen by adding
songs to the queue.
But there were some times my plan did not
go as expected. One of those was in India. Far from my family, homesick. I
wanted to listen to music, but none of the songs felt appropriate for that moment.
Then, I remembered a song that my mother used to play when I was a little kid.
A song about a father, waking up his son to go to school, saying how amazing it
could be, and ends up explaining how confusing parenting could be. Later on, his
son replies how confusing being a son could be. The name of the song:
“Despierta” by Alejandro Filio. When I listened to it I broke down into tears.
To listen to that song made me remember all those moments next to my mom, she
was hugging me, I was feeling secure, I was feeling loved. Due to the power of
music that I already explained, I felt all of those emotions again. I did not
pay attention to the lyrics, but it became one of the most special songs to me.
The last time my music plan did not work
was during my last flight to San Francisco. I had the queue all ready, but I
fell asleep as soon as the plane took off. When I woke up the queue had already
been played. I found myself listening to the very beginning of a song that I
did not prepare. The name: "Despierta". It was a nice surprise. For
the first time in almost 2 years, I decided to pay attention to the lyrics
instead of just embrace the emotions.
The chorus left a lot of thoughts in my
head. When I was a kid, for sure I wanted to be like my parents. They were
everything to me. To have my shoes in the place theirs were. But now those
shoes are more and more far from each other. It started in India, not only with
the physical distance. I realized that I wanted to make my own path. Somehow I
accomplished it. I made all my effort to keep my shoes as far as possible from
my parents. To keep them away from building me a future and healing them a
past. Even when I missed them.
But now, just when I was in the middle of
my journey, I realized that was not what I wanted to do. I get to miss them
that much that they have that special song to remember them. I don’t want to be
separated from my family. To be apart does not mean absent. And yeah, I do not
want to have their same path. But I recognize their effort and affection. I
understand that I want my shoes to be next to theirs, so I’m able to have my
own path, without denying my parents shoes.
I’m just about to embrace a new adventure. I
can’t wait to be in-country and make new memories, to know more people I want
to have my shoes next to. Because I know that this story did not end.
It did not finish
