i check in to my suitcase-hostel
find home in overflowing pockets and zippers that won’t close
every stony street sings lullabies to my tired luggage
heart beat thuds and wheels that ache
i find home in airport-limbo and goodbyes that still linger as i write this
i find closure where i can and mourn the abrupt, unfinished
pages don’t always turn lightly
—
this must be the honeymoon phase, i think
this can not last forever, i think
because black velvet skies and crescents wash over me
as south american skylines stretch out between valleys and my heartstrings
i waft at firefly street lights
and unapologetic curves to mountains and the roads carved into their skin
‘different’ has never looked so beautiful
i am exactly where i should be, i think
sickly sweet postcard views stamped with besos and altitude sickness
i find myself on mountaintops, braving empty lungs that show no mercy
i swallow fickle air and while it burns
i romanticize the fact that i am literally breathless
i mistake my dizziness for infatuation
light-headed love
i find pride in clumsy spanish that leaves my tongue like an apology
disbelief in clouds i can touch
and do touch
stories that touch me
half-awake on nervous bus rides, i find romance in street graffiti
“there are so many people in this world who could ruin me with love”
people who give me nicknames and hands to hold
a taste of their ‘colada morada’
and belly-aching laughter
people like my host mum in quito
who calls me leandrita
as if no name has ever felt more familiar
people who only know me with short hair and the newest scar on my leg
people who wake up as i dream of the distance between us
i am exactly where i should be, i think?
people whose accents sit comfortably between my lips, whose words escape my mouth
¿Cómo se dice “we belong”?
—
luis tells us to explore the mercado together
the gringas dodge skewered pigs and fruit pyramids to a soundtrack of their classical guitar
on the second floor, they smell raw fish and i smell nostalgia
i find home in the uncomfortable and feel uncomfortable anyway
not every moment is happy
but every moment is beautiful
in every moment, i feel i feel i feel i feel
this must be the honeymoon phase, i think
i hope it will last forever, i think
