Feel it All

Feel it all for this moment, let it pass. 

Since arriving in Quito, and starting this song, I have felt excitement, loss, wonder, fear, connection, and love stronger than ever before. Now, having tea with my host mom who I now truly love, I still feel all those emotions, but they don’t scare me, they fill me. I kept adding to this song throughout the months; through the fear, shock, homesickness, wonder, awe, gratitude, and growth. And in two months, when I leave this place and these people I love, I know it will tear at my heart. But I also know that pain is a testament to love. I will feel it all, let it pass, and keep growing. 
Feel It All — (lyrics)
Tear down my treehouse
Build a concrete wall
Take my bedside angels
Sell it all
I’m gonna build a bonfire
To bathe in the flames of the past
Feel it all for this moment
Let it pass
‘Cause it’s time to build myself up from the ashes of a childhood I can’t remember half of
Raking leaves in the backyard with my brother feel a colder breeze ’cause it’s fall in Colorado
Time to see who I am without my hometown
No one I know, and no fall in Frisco
Jungle trees don’t smell like Aspen leaves and
I don’t feel like me
So I’ll take to road less traveled from my veins on up to my heart
To have and to hold these ribs as a home
Get over myself and get under the bridge with the waters of father time father down the line
I’m trying my hardest to just be
Fine tune troubles in my little tick tock mind
Time traveling tokens of newly woken spirits and souls and I’m solely beholden
To outer space crater lakes tell me what the hell it takes to
Find something truly true in all the guts and all the ruin
I don’t know where I’ll go when I’m feeling scared alone
All I know take it slow spirit high head low
Staring at the stars with the same eyes different skies
New kind of paradise oh I’m terrified
Take it in my own time new day new shine
Machinations give and take and
All I’m tryna do is be
Now I’m feeling these streams of consciousness flowing in these Quito streets my conscious is growing
I’m dizzy and dancing and rolling my eyes back in my head so I might see that which will guide me
Tearing off layers of how this world sees me to find the woman I know that I can be
Searching for myself like gold in a river and desperately hoping she even exists
Chipping away at all that I have been and greeting the day not knowing what’ll happen
Selling my soul and swearing solidarity to all that I’ve been and all that I will be
Tear down my treehouse
Show me a whole new world