During our time in Stanford we were required to define what impact meant to us. The immediate thought that came to my mind is head trauma. This is a physical impact and not the correct intention of the seminar, but was the only kind type that I could truly relate to. I remember when my younger brother Lance was smacked against the side of the head with a hockey stick. After the acute blow he was disoriented. Stumbling on the ice as though he had too much to drink. Unable to participate in conversations, and looking lost in his own thoughts. I personally have never had a concussion, but saw what it did to my younger brother. I can only imagine the confusion that he felt, but during my time here in Ecuador I can relate myself to his experience.
From the moment I landed in Quito, I have had this feeling of confusion, and disorientation. I am unable to talk to anyone around me, and struggle to perform the most basic tasks because of my poor understanding about the region. Just the other day I got off the bus and walked down the wrong street, allowing myself to get completely lost. It was a terrifying feeling to walk off the bus and realize that I have absolutely no idea where I was. Without the ability to properly talk to the people around me I was isolated, disoriented, and overall confused. Scared that if I made any more mistakes I could land myself into a more uncomfortable position.
After that situation I have realized that this year is going to be one of the most difficult experience of my life, and now I know that there will be many mistakes in my future. The entire year will depend on how well I can handle these mistakes. Along with manage my emotions that walk side by side with everything I do here in Ecuador. If I allow these feeling to overcome my thought process I could place myself in some scary positions, and the best way to handle such a situation is by staying level headed. I know that I must stay calm, but as my father once said “it’s easier said than done.”
