On Leaving – A free write from my favourite cafe

1/02/19 – La Cosecha

When you go to a place you never think that it will be the last time. I’ve
been thinking about how I’ve got such little time left and that not only
people do I need to say goodbye to but places as well. Why is that? Say
goodbye to a place? Here’s a theory. Us humans make energy the kind that
doesn’t exist in physics but simply an energy of emotions. When we are
happy or sad we release out emotional energy out into the atmosphere. The
world continues to spin because it’s releasing our human energy out into
space. Our energy creates heat.

There are more humans on Earth now than ever before. Could Global Warming
be a product of our human emotional energy generating heat? If you pay
attention to yourself when you’re emotional you’re generating more heat.

So back to saying goodbye to places. When we are in a place we release
energy and it stays there. Like a plastic bag but for not as long. It stays
for about 2-3 years. After that, it expires. There is a theory however that
the time after the energy memory is created, it’s linked to the amount of
time you’ve spent there. For example, like an old house. The energy
embedded there stays longer because the energy has had more time to grow
and embed itself into the earth, into the air molecules, timber frames and
the house structure.

What we hope to do when we say goodbye to a place is for a brief moment,
latch onto the energy which we created and hope its still there. Grasp it
in our palms like a butterfly and then let it go again. I think goodbyes
are apart of acceptance rather than just simply telling someone the words
“GOODBYE” because what does it mean to say those words alone? What is
“F*#K” without the energy? What is “I love you” without the pulsing
heartbeat behind it. I think that phrase deserves its own story. But today
we are talking about goodbyes. Because like Life and Death, what is Hello
without Goodbye. There is not a single Hello without an equal Goodbye.

Why do I want to leave without saying a word? Why do I want to take my
belongings and hop on a bus right away. Without a word, without a peep. Am
I struggling to accept? Am I trying to avoid a difficult task?

Maybe because what I have lived here is so amazing that when I leave, those
memories will be harder to pluck so easily from my mind. That time where I
saw a group of men playing cards on an old rusted oil drum inevitably will
be forgotten. That time I sat in a cafe looking out the window out a
f*c#ing Volcanoe will be less vivid. I’ll forget the ridges and colours. It
may become so plain I’ll only be able to make out its outline. I’ll leave
and the longer I’m gone the more difficult it will be to reach those
memories, that energy. So I’ll stroll searching for bubbles of energy that
feel familiar and like a butterfuly catch them gently in my palms. Like
being greated by a friend. When I’m satisfied I’ll unclasp my palms and let
the energy out of my hands and walk away.

I have many theories and queries. Maybe you think this whole butterfly
thing is bullshit and you keep your memories elsewhere. In a photo, a
drawing, a song or diary entry. I do that sometimes too.

I should tell you one last thing. Be very careful because memories are only
created by energy. It doesn’t just happen like magic. It requires a time
harnessing focus. You transend the time for a brief moment and that creates
a memory. You’re so absorbed in a moment that the string of time can’t
contain it. So the energy forms a memory hence my name: Energy Memory. What
will prevent you from conjuring these powerballs of emotion and human
feeling… is your phone so don’t get so distracted and put it away.