ideas overload me every time I don’t have access to a pen or a keyboard to
track them down. Nevertheless, all inspiration seems to fade away each time I
sit down in front of my laptop. When I am ready to let my mind flow and write,
she is not ready to do so anymore. Reaching that dreamed synchronization does
take a lot of effort, yet it is worth it all.
I have been
back in Spain for a month now. I purposively avoided saying “back home”,
because to me I have always been “home”.
I was home back in Pune and I am home now too. I am aware that the
aforementioned can sound too corny, cheesy and cliché, but let me explain
myself first and then judge.
Anyone that
knows me well would describe me as an energetic, passionate, positive and
determined person. Maybe as a result of such a combination, I turned out to be
someone who always tries to live in the present, cherishes what she’s got now
instead of always reminiscing on past times and believes that everything
happens for a reason hence there is always a lesson to learn from everything.
Beyond all
of that, I deeply treasure human connection. There is always something to learn
from each relationship you form. During this gap year, I have not only
rediscovered the beauty of how every person we allow to enter into our lives
forever shapes our personal journey, but also how each relationship we form is
so mesmerizingly unique and therefore needs to be nurtured differently.
Moreover, the more meaningful connections you form with people and the more you
deepen and foster your relationships, the more you understand yourself and the
more accomplished and fulfilled you will feel.
That is why
for me, home is people, the feeling of comfort and safety that certain people
bring to your life. It is about how each relationship makes you feel about
yourself and the world around you. It is about people that inspire you,
encourage you and support you. It is about people who you can open up with and
who makes you feel good about being vulnerable and not always having everything
under control or figure out. And even though each relationship feels
differently and is formed around different needs and purposes, they all hold in
its essence the same comforting, familiar and safe feeling that I personally
define as home. Therefore, each person that has considerably shape me is home
for me.
Home is
sometimes also places. Some special places have the power to bring back
memories that have the magic to make you feel that specific sensation of
comfort, familiarity, and safety that I have been mentioning all along because
it is for me how something needs to feel to be associated with a home, with a
safe space, with the feeling we all crave — because we all want to free
ourselves and feel loved and supported when we are our authentic self.
Nevertheless,
we can’t forget that the more important relationship we need to nurture is the
one within ourselves and the place where we need to feel more comfortable and
in peace is in our own skin. We are able to find a home in other people, and in
places, because we can recognize a bit of ourselves in them. But firstly, we
need to understand and find ourselves within us in order to find ourselves
within others.
Thus, we
carry home within ourselves everywhere we go because we are our own home. The
way home feels is in our hands – it is all about how I decide to treat and love
myself. Only when one accepts their own
essence and uniqueness and recognize they are their own safe space, is when we
finally feel at home.
So, be
Pune, be Almeria, be anywhere else, I was always home, I never left, because
wherever I go, I was always with myself.
