As this this gap year begins to come to a close I look back at various blog
drafts I have saved, sitting unposted in fear that the words are unworthy.
Even typing this I fear I am fearing that the words won’t be eloquent
enough to put it out to the world. But looking at the unposted drafts and
my journal entries they are a treasure to have as I can not believe what
this year has brought. Having relatively no expectations from the beginning
I somehow never expected what has become.
It’s not possible to imagine a future self in which you are better than
your past self. It’s only through reflection and the input of other people
that you can see this growth in the current moment.
A large mistake I was making was thinking I had to tell stories of the
outside, what was happening in India. While these stories are the
influencers, what was happening inside is what will truly impact me long
term.
As I this post goes on I see more and more how in-cohesive it is, but it
has to be this way, as that’s what this process has been. Yet in the end it
comes together like it should.
One of the best skills I’ve developed has been the ability to see the
importance of all situations. Not seeing anything as positive or negative,
but everything as a learning opportunity.
Most recently it’s been that I need to remember that I am also allowed to
feel though, that not everything needs analyzed, at least not right away.
And I am happy.
